So bath time before bed with my almost 3 year old is always…. “fun”
Fun like going to the dentist fun… he’s tired, i’m tired, at first he doesn’t want to get in… once he’s in.. he doesn’t want to get out…
I usually wash him up first, brush his teeth in the tub and then say , “OK, time to get out.”
Which he usually replies. “No get out of tubby now”
The ritual continues with me saying, “OK you get a few minutes to play, OK… OK…”
until he acknowledges me with an exhasperated “Oh-Tay Dad!”
This is Dad’s bath time ritual, at this point I usually kick back on his 8″ step stool box and cruise the web or do something on my iPhone until a few minutes pass, and I decide its time to get the little guy in PJ’s and finally to bed. This way he gets his play time in the tub, I get to cruise eBay, and we should both be happy. That is… until its time to get out again, and then we get to the screaming again while I take him out of the tub and dry him off.
Last night was no exception of this ritual, except for my slow motion NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. This happened in a matter of mili-seconds, as most things with toddlers do. I realized I did not put my phone back in my pocket. Instead on this fine night I placed it on top of the laundry hamper next to the bath tub, and as I dried my son off with a towel his hawk eyes of revenge for taking him out of the tub spotted my phone. Upon this revelation his cat like reflexes grabbed this sacred item of Dad’s. As I fluffed his hair with the towel I spotted something in his hand and had a split second of what is… but thats all I had time to think. For his youth is already rubbing in the fact that I am aging and he is young.
As I realized what he had his hand was already in motion, complete with shit eating grin on his face. By the time my brain neurons where telling my hand to “react asshole… react!” the phone was hitting the water… this is where the slow motion NOOOOOOOOOO! of that night took place.
Now I try not to yell around your kids, they are impresionable at this age. However I must admit, I might have let a few F-bombs slip along, which did not help things as I think he new the seriousness of this action…. unfortunately he realized it after he did it…. thats how toddlers’ brains work. So now within mili-seconds my phone was thrown in the tub, I retrieved it within seconds, I lost my cool, and because of this my son is now crying. This of course started the second stage of the circus as my wife was curious and came up with our newborn to see what the commotion was about, as both her oldest son and her husband were crying over the sinking of an iPhone… or at least one of us were crying over that.
So now I am naked for a couple of days as my phone site in a plastic bag full of couscous (we didn’t have rice in the cabinet). I read this trick on the internet once… which means it has to be true. I’m hoping it is, as going to work in the morning without my phone feels like me going to work not wearing pants…. just plain uncomfortable.
I thought I would share my story here for anyone that feels my pain. The only time I turned the screen on was about 15 minutes after it happened to power off my phone to prevent any short circuits, I’ll update this post after a few days of rice treatment and I see if everything works. On a side note, I think couscous is a little too small, which may be good or bad. It works its ways up into all the ports to absorb water better… but then again, it works its way up to all the ports, which I have to keep cleaning out. There goes the re-sale value…